The situation
You did the work — the proposal, the analysis, the careful framing. In the meeting, a colleague restated your conclusions as their own and took the warmth in the room. You smiled through it. Now, hours later, you cannot stop replaying the scene.
The move
Run the dichotomy of control on what you are actually angry about.
What is up to you: your honesty, your future communication with that colleague, the record of what you did (the document, the timestamps, the witnesses), and crucially, your judgment about what has happened. What is not up to you: their behaviour, the room's read, your manager's perception in that moment, the credit itself.
The Stoic move is not to suppress the irritation but to catch the moment when it tips from observation ("they did that") into a judgment that requires assent ("this is intolerable, this proves they are dishonest, this means I am unappreciated"). The first is fact. The second is interpretation you are choosing to endorse. Epictetus is precise on this in Enchiridion 5: men are disturbed not by things but by their opinions about things. The colleague's behaviour is the event. The hours of replay are your contribution.
Source grounding
Marcus, in Meditations 2.1, names the morning premeditation that prevents exactly this kind of evening rumination: I shall meet with the busy-body, the arrogant, the deceitful. The point is not that everyone is a thief. The point is that human beings act from their own ignorance of the good, and the surprise that breeds anger is the surprise of someone who did not expect this. By the second time it happens, the rehearsal should be intact: of course this is the kind of thing that can happen here.
The Enchiridion gives the response in 5: when you are disturbed, do not blame the other; lay the blame on your own opinion. And then, eventually, on neither — because you stop manufacturing the judgment in the first place.
What the popular version misses
Three common drifts:
- "Just let it go." This is not Stoic — it is suppression dressed in togas. The work is not to feel nothing; it is to interrupt the chain from impression (phantasia) to judgment to passion. Notice what is happening; refuse to assent (sunkatathesis).
- "Don't care about external things." Reputation, work, recognition are preferred indifferents (adiaphora) — worth pursuing, worth caring about with proportion, just not the basis of your well-being. Document what you did. Talk to your manager. Adjust how you share work in future. These are appropriate actions.
- "Be above it." The Stoic is not above anything. The Stoic is rigorously honest about which part of the situation is up to them and acts there.
The commitment
One specific thing: write a short, dated note describing what happened — to yourself, not to the colleague. Then decide one concrete action for tomorrow that lies entirely in your control. Send the document to your manager with a cover note. Bring up the work in the next standup. Whatever it is, it should be in column one of the dichotomy, and it should not require anyone else to behave in any particular way for it to count.